4 January 2014

2013 | Highs & Lows

I've done a blog post all about Aztec Mess in 2013, so now it's time for what I got up to in 2013!

Let's start with the good! :) I'm going to include some photos of some amazing times I had this year :) Follow me on instagram: aztecmess

The best thing about this year was going on holiday with my boyfriend, we went with all my family and I had the best time. We went after our exams had finished so it was amazing to completely relax for 2 weeks and not think about anything we had to do!

Towards the end of this year there have been lots of trips to London to visit my boyfriend, even though living apart isn't great I am loving being able to spend time in London!

After my exams finished in Manchester me and all my friends took full advantage of the gorgeous weather and sat outside our house with cider and wine. I'd do anything to re-live those days with absolutely nothing to do!

Last New Years I was lucky enough to spend in Paris! My friend was living there on here year abroad so I took full advantage, you can read my post on it here.

I was lucky enough to attend quite a few blogger events while I was still in Manchester, including the Benefit Fake Up event. It was so nice to meet other bloggers and integrate more into the blogging community.

The final high-light was turning 21! Mine and my housemates birthday were really close together so we had a joint house party, it was so nice to have all our friends together and celebrate. Although I think I celebrated a little too hard...!

Now onto the not so good, I don't want this to be a negative post but it would be weird doing a year in summary and not mentioning my anxiety as it has had a huge impact.

In the first half of 2013 I was still living the student life. I absolutely loved uni and would encourage everyone to at least give going to uni a try. But the last year of uni was really tough for me. The stress of exams and dissertation really started to kick in and for someone with anxiety that's even harder than for most. I'd been suffering with my anxiety for a while but it got so much worse in the 2nd half of my third year. I haven't spoken too much about this apart from with my closest friends, but everything from going to Sainsburys to attending a lecture just got too much for me. 

If you know me at all in real life then you know how much I love Rihanna, I got tickets to go and see her but when the day came round I was stood in tears with my housemate debating not going. My anxiety was stopping me doing everything. I finally went to my doctors who listened as I cried my eyes out and she diagnosed me with severe anxiety bordering on agoraphobia. She told me to apply for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy, google it if you're not sure what it is!), but the thought of going to a session triggered huge panic attacks. My housemate (the same one who sat outside with me before Rihanna) offered to come with me, and I can't thank her enough because I wouldn't have even made it to one session without her! The session was really good in helping me to understand what anxiety really was and that I wasn't alone. But unfortunately after the first session I moved away from uni back home. 

When I was home I was still finding it really hard but because the stress of exams and revision was gone things started to look up. I managed to enjoy my summer like the rest of my friends and I was relatively unaffected by it, until I started my new job. I am unbelievably grateful I managed to find a job so quickly after uni, but it really did trigger my panic attacks. I attended a welcome week type event where we stayed in a hotel and had a massive panic attack and had to rely on two people I barely knew - they were both amazing and dealt with it really well though! But I was so embarrassed and felt like I'd gone backwards. 

But I'm so happy to say that now my anxiety really seems to be getting under control, I know part of this is being in a proper routine. Obviously I still have set-backs but it is miles better than it was at the beginning of 2013. 

I know that got a little bit heavy towards the end but I hoped you liked reading about my year. I'm hoping that 2014 will not be dominated by anxiety, I don't expect it to disappear but hopefully have less of an impact. I don't really have any other new years resolutions other than the obvious 'keep fit and eat healthy' cliche! 

Hope you had a great New Year and good luck in 2014 :)




  1. Aw the panic attacks sound horrible, I really feel for you. But it's great that you are working on it and are doing really well. There will always be set backs but it's great that you are such a positive person. :)



  2. Anxiety had a huge impact on my year too. I hope getting it all out in this post helped you a bit, I found it really helped me and I'm going into 2014 leaving negative people behind and with a stronger head on my shoulders.

    Here's to a great 2014!
    Happy New Year!
    Jenn | Photo-Jenn-ic


  3. Sounds like you've created some great memories (Anxiety aside)
    Elephant stories and more

  4. Ah tori I'm so happy you've shared your story... i just made a post touching on my similar issues that i've had the past year. only 3 months ago did i go to the doctor to tell her about my anxiety and depression and it's still so new to me and terrifying! i haven't told anyone apart from that doctor and i am on medication but everything is so difficult! i completely understand how you feel... i'm so proud of you for getting through uni (i still don't think i'll make it..) and getting a job (CONGRATS!!) even with your trouble with anxiety! i hope 2014 is an amazing year for you... you deserve it! <3



  5. Thank you for sharing your experiences. So many of us are in the same boat, but are afraid to speak out. Happy new year, all the best!



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