I find my last post almost ironic. The quote I used;
'I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness'
It turns out, I'm not in charge of how I feel. Almost a week ago my family had to say goodbye to the head of our family. My Grandad.
I count myself lucky that I was extremely close to my Grandad, he wasn't a grandparent I saw three or four times a year, I saw him almost daily until I went to uni. I feel lucky that from the age of two until about six I lived with him and my nana. I feel lucky that we had our time alone on the drive to and from nursery and then when I was older, on the drive to and from school. I feel lucky that my family refer to me as his 'golden child' because he was always so excited to see me. I feel lucky that I had him as a part of my life for 23 years.
My cousins and I have lost the best Grandad we could ever ask for. My nana has lost her husband. My mum and uncle have lost their dad. And my aunt and step-dad have lost their father-in-law. But my Grandad created a strong family and I know we will all be there for each other. We have each other to muddle through this horrible time. We can cry together and we can reminisce together and we will be closer because of it.
Rest in peace, Grandad. You will be missed forever.